I nearly died... again!

I think there is a conspiracy against me and it's being backed by a stupid furry creature with long legs. The deer on my drive to work seem to enjoy watching me wet my pants when they decide to take a last minute stroll across the street. It's been twice in the matter of the last week that I've gotten my tires to smoke by having to slam on the breaks to avoid missing the stupid things. What have I done to them? I let them eat my garden and my flowers. What more do they want? It may be time to invest in some armor for my car. Could you see my little car with a big grill on it? Me either, but if this doesn't stop, someone's going to get hurt. Didn't your mom teach you to look both ways before crossing the street? Use the crosswalk guys and no one will get hurt.